In the Beginning...

It's been quite the while since I have posted. I miss it very much. I will resume soon, because it is so good for my heart.

I do have two exciting announcements! The first is that we just sent our papers back for our house. As soon as we make our payment on January 1, 2010, the house is settled. Praise God forever more.

My second announcement is, "In the beginning..."

I have the incredible privilege to be speaking in the main sanctuary at Calvary Chapel Oceanside this weekend. I am inviting all of my friends and asking you to bring your friends (especially those that don't know Jesus) as we launch from Genesis 1:1 to outer space.

I will be speaking on how God's creation, His stars and planets and galaxies and astronomical evidence, all speak toward's God's unfathomable love for us.

If you'd like to take a ride through space and see God in it all, you may enjoy this. You can see a sample of the talks I give at www.StarryHost.com.

The services are:
Saturday, Dec. 26th @ 5:55 pm
Sunday, Dec. 27th @ 8:55 am
Sunday, Dec. 27th @ 10:55 am

You may also watch live on streaming Internet at: www.calvaryoceanside.org/recentsermons.html.

I hope to see some of you there.

Jack

Would You Rub My Feet?

As I adjust to my new life, I wonder and I ponder and I consider. I say to myself, "God, what do you want me to do? Am I doing all that you are asking of me? Am I doing enough? Am I touching the right people?"

In the midst of these Mt. Everest-sized questions, God is speaking in curiouser and curiouser ways.

"Would you rub my feet?" He asks.

Recently I went to my pastor's house who lives a few doors down. He had become very ill and I wanted to help the family.

So I show up at the house in grubbies with my mind set on something momentous like digging a new foundation for the house or taking out an oak tree with a dull plastic knife, or perhaps single-handedly re-working all of the plumbing in the house.

As I stood over my pastor, who had his legs elevated, he asked not for a mighty deed of heroism, but only this small request, "Would you rub my feet?"

What? Rub his feet? That's just plain weird. One man does not simply rub the bare foot of another man, particularly if that man is his pastor. It's just weird. And uncomfortable. And not manly like digging foundations.

"Really?" I stumbled. "Rub your feet?"

"That'd be really great, Jack. It would get my circulation flowing. Would you please rub my feet?"

So faced with the options of wimping out or showing my stupid manly hang-ups, I bent down, took his foot in my hands and begin to rub.

Soon we were joking about it and as his wife walked in and then his daughter, we all shared a smile and a tease. I simply quipped that this was Biblical and Mike asked me if I would then wash my feet with tears and dry them with my hair!

I realized that God had answered my prayer to serve. It wasn't service leading to the salvation of thousands and it wasn't in teaching from some pulpit. It was in the humbling act of responding to the request of a great man who needed his feet rubbed.

If the Creator of the Universe could wash His disciples' feet, I could tend to my pastor.

I recommend this. If you ever have the chance to do the smallest thing for the least of the Kingdom of God, jump out of your social boundaries and leap at the chance.

Mat 25:34 NKJV - Then the King will say to those on His right hand, 'Come, you blessed of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world: for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in; I [was] naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.'

Mat 25:37 NKJV - "Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, 'Lord, when did we see You hungry and feed [You], or thirsty and give [You] drink? When did we see You a stranger and take [You] in, or naked and clothe [You]? Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to You?'

Mat 25:40 NKJV - And the King will answer and say to them, 'Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch as you did [it] to one of the least of these My brethren, you did [it] to Me.'

And Debbie, please forgive me for those times when I did indeed, not rub your feet. I was wrong. And I love you.

Jack

Good Food

Have you ever savored a plate of food? I mean just sat there with your eyes rolling in your head, closing your eyes and concentrating on each morsel in your mouth?

I have. I did it the other day during lunch at work. If anyone saw me, they probably thought I was nuts, with my little yummy noises and rolling eyes and such.

Heck. Let 'em talk!

Jesus once said, Jhn 4:32 NKJV - ... "I have food to eat of which you do not know." Jesus' food was His Father's will. And I've got God's will available to me as well.

All through the day, when my tasks require concentration, multi-tasking and wading through, and when I get panicky that I'm not smart enough, I turn my chair 90 degrees and just take 30 seconds to read another Proverb from the open Bible on my credenza.

And bam! My Spiritual eyes roll up in my head while my soul makes yummy noises. Every bite becomes a feast of delight. For the tidbits that don't make sense at the moment, I store them in my heart. And then a verse later, God spoon feeds me what I need at that very moment. Instantly I have peace and clarity.

How joyous! How scrumptious! God's Word is a feast to be eaten throughout a too-busy work day.

I don't throw my Bible at people at work, but it is quietly available to me throughout the day. And I can't tell you the thrill of holding it for a moment in anticipation of the next great morsel.

I'm learning not to leave God at home, that He wants to spoon feed me gourmet meals all day long. And He is blessing me for letting Him be available to me all day.

I'm not wacky, say what you want. I have food I hope you know of!

Chef in Training,
Jack

Two for the Money

I'm amazed, but God blessed us with a 2nd interview on NBC. Apparently there was a huge response to the first interview so they wanted to do a follow-up.

I was so proud of Debbie as she stood there and said that our turn of events was all God. She's so faithful. And my children know it as well and that makes me happy to boot.

So, once again, I say thank you to those friends, acquaintances, strangers and unknowns for your patience, love and support. God moves us all like chess pieces and He moved you all in our favor.

Scroll all the way to the bottom of this blog to see the interviews if you like.

Gratefully,
Jack

Don't Panic

For two weeks I've been a human sponge, absorbing, learning, absorbing some more, extrapolating, questioning and overloading. Big emphasis on the overloading part.

New job, new things to encounter and learn. It's a brainful.

And then they asked me to do some important things in front of the team leadership and to do it very quickly. I panicked. It's one thing to learn, and another to actually implement.

So as I sat in my office rapidly realizing I needed help just walking through what I had to do, in comes one of my new friends at work. She sat down and walked me through all I had in front of me. And this in spite of her working 70 hour weeks on a huge deadline.

Her comment? Only this, "Don't worry Jack, I've got your back!"

Instantly I felt better, calmer, and rather than guilty, I felt comforted. She knew I am new and she knew that it is important for the team that I come up to speed appropriately, otherwise my failure becomes every one's failure. In short, her job was to train me.

How often God does the same thing I realize. He gives us an impossible assignment and then brings us through it.

He says, "Don't panic! Isa 52:12 NKJV - For you shall not go out with haste, Nor go by flight; For the LORD will go before you, And the God of Israel [will] [be] your rear guard."

In other words, "Don't worry Jack, I've got your back!"

I've faced this situation so many times in my new job, but daily I fight that fear with the PROMISE that if God brought me here, He will make me succeed. That is so comforting.

The key is in the fight. Holding on to God's promise of being my rear guard and meditating on it gives me strength.

Then the fear flees far from me.

Don't panic.

~Jack

My Beaumont Friends

If any of my wonderful Beaumont Teacher friends are reading this, I miss you all terribly! Take good care of my Helena and Morgan.

I miss you all and will visit as soon as I can.

Love for all you do,
Jack

Two Worlds Made One

I am so blessed and I am so torn.

God has delivered me...to two worlds.

I daily live here on earth. And yet I simultaneously live in Him.

I am so torn, yet I am so blessed.

~

My job is going very well. Yet it requires all my thoughts for most of my day. I am finding favor among people and for that I am incredibly grateful. But it is not my skill set that is accomplishing the job, but an entire career of experiences that God has carefully orchestrated for dozens of years to get me to this point.

So every moment I am torn between pride and humility, between a cold heart and one that remembers my first love, between self dependence and total dependence.

God multiplies my thoughts. Where I as a human only have enough brain cells to operate in this world for this job, He doubles those brain cells so I can simultaneously live in this world and yet not be part of it. I hear the words of my boss and instantly hear the words of my Lord. I am glad in the successes I have and concurrently rejoice in Him who gives them.

I have new understanding and appreciation for the Scripture:

Rom 12:2 NKJV - ...do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Transform me, Lord. Transform me.

Jack

The Richest Man Alive - Joy

.


This picture is a summary of my first week at work. That's me. Good for 3rd prize at the Halloween contest at the office and a new company mug.

I Have found that joy can come from many sources and be directed in many different ways. In this case, I had joy in my heart from making new friends and it was directed towards those new friends. It made me silly.

Back at my desk, I got my first paycheck. Talk about joy. I walked into my office, looked at the envelope and simply stared. A paycheck! A real live, honest to goodness paycheck!

I was the richest man alive.

The most wonderful part of my little moment was not thinking that I could go buy a badly needed new mattress for my oldest child, or perhaps a new astronomy tool for myself, or even a good meal for my wife on a date. The first thought in my head was gratitude to God. He had seen me through 18 months of joblessness and kept my house and was now providing success at a new company and a paycheck.

I was simply and profoundly grateful.

Frankly, it could have been for $100 and I would have felt this way. The fact is, it was not from my company, it was from Him. And I had joy. And I was not worried that I still have huge debts and a very rough uphill financial road to travel. I had a paycheck!

I could not wait to go home to tell Debbie and for us to decide how much to give back to God. And we did decide. And we decided where it should go. And we had joy together.

God owns it all: Psa 50:10 NKJV - For every beast of the forest [is] Mine, [And] the cattle on a thousand hills. And He slaughtered one of those cattle for us.

My heart has changed from, "I've earned this so I get to spend it how I want." to "This was Yours dear Jesus! You transferred it into my bank account so how do you want me to use it?". That change gives me joy, too. We've always tried to be generous, but there is a subtle difference now.

I like the new Jack. Keep molding me, Master Sculptor!

Your lump of clay,
Jack

There but for the Grace of God

Wednesday was the day our house was to go to auction. Debbie went just to make sure there were no mishaps of our home actually remaining on the list and selling.

It was surreal for her that she was even there. As she arrived she was still reflecting on the fact that God had stopped our house from going to auction. She looked around and tried to figure out where to stand and what to do. Then she noticed a nearby woman.

Instantly she recognized who and what she was. The lady's appearance, her wig and her quiet conversation said it all: she is a cancer survivor.

And there she was at the same auction as Debbie.

Debbie's eyes filled with tears as she overheard the stranger tell someone the same story as ours: joblessness, cancer, foreclosure. The only difference was that Debbie was there to watch God's miracle. This cancer sister was there to watch her house sell.

Debbie tried to go and console the woman but she simply couldn't. She was overwhelmed with the huge "close-call" of it all and the amazing blessing we received that this woman and her family did not.

Debbie called me and tearfully told me the story and ended it with, "There but for the grace of God go I." My heart simply broke.

We do not know God's providence for our lives, and we certainly cannot claim it was solely our righteousness or our prayers or the thousands of prayers that were uttered on our behalf. What we do know is that God changed history for us and that the body of Christ pulled together on our behalf and we have grown closer to Him who is light and love.

Somehow, someway, and for some reason God blessed His body today and we all (us and the hundreds who have prayed) have been blessed by our unfathomable and all loving Creator.

Thank you to Him and thank you to you.

Humbly,
Jack

Checking in with Work

It's time for my report on work.

Wow.

It's been a long time.

The job is excellent, the facilities pleasant and easy to get to and the people are great. I'm completely comfortable with the tasks required of me.

It's just a complete change of lifestyle! Being at home for so long over the last, actually 6 years, and then stepping back into the corporate lifestyle takes some getting used to.

I miss my Debbie, Helena and Morgan terribly. They're neat people to spend time with. And I miss seeing my house in the daylight. The gardens are beautiful and the light turns golden in the afternoons as it lights up the small hills and valleys like a painting.

It's good to be at work though. After Adam, we are meant to work hard and this is a good place to do it.

I pray for my family because this is the same big adjustment for them. Debbie does not have my help and the children do not have my guidance during the day. Debbie has been so wonderful to have their baths and homework done by the time I get home so I can spend the evening with them. It's been very special.

So my prayer is that I am a light at work, being the best God intends me to be. And I pray the same for Debbie and protection for Helena and Morgan.

Jack

Here we go!

After a day of unrest yesterday, I am prayed up and ready as ever to start my job today.

I will not be afraid.

Deu 31:6 NKJV - Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

Jack

The Day After

Here am I, counting my blessings: 1) I have stood faithful to God for 19 months; 2) I have received a good job; 3) My house is not going to auction next Wednesday (postponed by the bank for 30 days); 4)Debbie's cancer is gone (should be listed as #1); 5) The mood in my family has lifted. Nice list.

And I sit here depressed.

This afternoon I find myself angry, irritable at the slightest provocation, sad for the dumbest things and feeling empty. I do not have joy nor even much gratitude to God for His miraculous string of miracles. And to top it off, I feel fatter than a hippo in a Speedo (sorry for the image); every tug of my shirt makes me claustrophobic.

And I'm OK with all this.

I'm in good company with Godly men who have gotten depressed. One day the prophet Elijah faced 400 prophets of Baal. Elijah challenged them to make an altar and have Baal burn up the bull on the alter with fire. He teased them and cajoled them while they prayed for a full day until they bled. Of course, Baal never answered their prayer.

Then Elijah built an alter, put a bull on it and soaked the altar with water and built a watery moat around the offer. Upon his prayer, God sent down fire and consumed the offering. God won.

And Elijah won an incredible victory. The spiritual high he must have felt as God answered his prayer and brought fire down upon his soaked sacrifice must have made Elijah positively giddy.

But once the battle was over, Jezebel threatened to kill him within 24 hours. So Elijah fled into the wilderness in great fear. He sat down on a rock and cried out to God to take his life.

1Ki 19:4 KJV - But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I [am] not better than my fathers.

So much for the mighty prophet of God and so much for the mighty man of faith--Me. I'm depressed and feeling fat. I wonder if Elijah ate fist fulls of chocolate?

At any rate, God made a full range of emotions for us and He Himself felt joy, anger, laughter and despair. I believe what I'm feeling now is just that...only a feeling. I am feeling the loss of adrenaline from the fight that is temporarily over, the immediate battle which is won. I have received this crown for this race. Depression is not who I am and I won't let it be.

So today I eat fistfuls of chocolate. Not exactly a godly response, but at least it's tasty. After Elijah's battle with depression, God immediately used him to anoint both the next king his protege and successor, Elisha.

Tomorrow is a bright new day. In fact, Psa 118:24 NKJV - This [is] the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.

So I choose to rejoice, despite what I feel. That's not hollow and hypocritical. It acknowledges my humanness and God's holiness. Tomorrow I know I will feel better because my heart goes where my thoughts go and I turn my thoughts to God.

In the meantime for today, the chocolate still looks pretty good.

:-)

The End Intended

I've often thought of what God intended to do in my life during these trials over the last 19 months. In fact, I've pleaded, cried, rebelled and been depressed while asking Him to reveal those intentions in my life over this long, long, way too long period of time.

And then I found James' encouragement:

Jam 5:10 NKJV - My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end [intended by] the Lord--that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

People have called me a modern day Job. But with so many people in similar circumstances, "Job-itis" seems to be a common disease! So I looked at the end intended for Job and it blew me away.

If you don't know the story of Job, it goes a little like this: Job was the richest man alive with family, friends, health and wealth; and he loved God. So Satan asked God to let Him destroy Job so Satan could prove Job's love for God was only skin deep. God then let Satan touch Job within limits.

Satan destroyed Job's wealth and then his family and then his health. Finally, Satan burdened Job with a few horrible compadres who gave rotten, accusing, condemning counsel. In the end, God finally appears to Job and His friends and reads them the riot act in a loving/holy/terrifyingly humbling encounter. Through all this Job did not sin against God with his lips. This does not mean to say that Job did not question God nor wail in his pain, but he trusted Him.

What was the end result intended by God? There are two things that happened. The second is less important than the first: God multiplied Job's possessions and family exactly twice as much as before. That is of course always a pleasant thing to happen to one, I suppose. May it happen to me! May it happen to all of us!

The most important thing that happened is reflected in this confession from Job:


42:5 NKJV - "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You."

Job knew and feared God before, but now after the trials, Job met God face-to-face. Job became intimate with God.

So I look back on these 19 months and see if that has happened:

• My "Starry Host" presentations have taken on a deep-felt passion and legitimacy
• Debbie and I prayed on our faces...together
• Our family has committed more resources for God because we know who our rescuer is...
• We are praying about opening our home to a Bible study because it is our reasonable service to Him who delivers
• Debbie and I are seeing more of God in each other
• We are finally understanding how God moves on people's hearts in compassion so they pray unceasingly, give unselfishly and encourage endlessly
• Our hearts are changing so that we can do the same for others

So has the end intended by God been brought about? As with all things of God, it is a work in progress. But I wouldn't miss the ride for the world!

May God's intended end for you be as fruitful.

~Jack

Taste and See

I have seen the Lord, and the Lord is good.

You may have heard the news from us already, but...I am now EMPLOYED!

In a miraculous way, the company that I had not sought out but rather God brought to me has made me an offer I can't refuse. I start on Monday, October 26th. The company is relatively close by (30-45 minute commute) and I have performed the job before so I am relatively comfortable in the duties.

The end of our struggles is not over. We still need to save our house from auction in 9 days; we still need to overcome the huge debt incurred (it will be paycheck to paycheck for a very long time); we still have to get through medical issues resulting from the cancer.

But when all is said, I have tasted of the Lord and seen His work; and He is good.

[Psa 34:8 NKJV] - Oh, taste and see that the LORD [is] good; Blessed [is] the man [who] trusts in Him!

~Jack

The Widow's Tithe

My friends, I am taking a moment to give my absolute thanks to you wonderful folks who have, and are, supporting this family.

Every day (or two or three or four) a check comes in, or a gift card, a set of movie tickets, a day's work or a word of encouragement. I can't even decide which is the most valuable except that God has moved on your hearts and you have responded, which makes every gift as valuable as the next.

I know times are so difficult for many of us. And even though some of us are doing better than others, our budgets have never been tighter for all of us.

And yet...you give.

Some of you I know and some of you are complete strangers to me.

And yet...you give.

Some of you have enough to eat and some of you do not; some have jobs and some are jobless; some are healthy and others suffer.

And yet...you give.

Some have no time to spend reading these blogs and responding with encouragement and advice.

And yet...you give.

Jesus was watching in the Temple as all the people put their tithes and offerings into the box. Up came a widow who put in out of her poverty. She came away the richest of them all with a blessing from the Lord.

I tell you, my family has been that offering box and ALL OF YOU have put in your offerings. I could never have asked for more love than what each of you has shown us.

Luk 21:1 NKJV - And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites. So He said, "Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had."

I ask our holy God to return to your heads 100 times what you have given us.

And He is the God to do it.

~Jack

Whose Child Am I

I am waiting to hear from the job interview process day by day. The HR Director said she'll try and call me before she boards the plane home from Chicago. That was last Friday. No call.

I'll try and not be anxious.

I have gone over the interview in my head a dozen times. I met with the HR director first. It was a good and pleasant conversation. Then she called in my direct boss (if hired) and we had another very interesting conversation. And then I met with two potential peers. Again, a great talk with lots of good questions.

Yet I keep going back to the session with my peers and my boss. My peers had read too much into me and my boss had asked a tough question which led to a tough answer.

My peers queried me on this and that and I answered honestly. But at one point they said how excited they were that I was so knowledgeable on healthcare data, calling me passionate about it. "Whoa!" I said. "I do understand some things about the data, but please don't get the idea that I am a data junkie. There are dedicated professionals who do that and I am not one of them. But I am happy to share what I do know."

I was taking a risk by being honest. The point is that in the world's eyes, I had them hook, line and sinker and I could have reeled them in on an issue that was obviously important to them. But setting up an expectation like that is basically a lie. And it would only be a matter of time before it hurt me. Besides, I'm not to lie...ever.

Then my boss asked in her session with me, "What motivates you?"

My first answer was entirely "business" appropriate and something like, "...building relationships and working on business process improvement." This job requires a lot of both of those so the answer stuck and she made a note.

Then she repeated the question, "What else motivates you?" Hmm...what is she looking for? "Mentoring people so that those around me want to come into work the next day. I value enabling people to do their jobs better." Again, a nod and a note.

Then she repeated the question, "Tell me what really motivates you?" By now I'm stuck. What else is she looking for? What is relevant in all the things I've heard from her thus far in the interview that I can bring to bear? What?

Then I heard a still, small voice: "I do."

That was God's voice. I recognized it clearly and knew what to say. "My only other answer is Biblical."

"How so?" she asked.

"Do all things as unto the Lord."

Finally, she smiled. This was the moment: would I sell out with a canned interview answer or would I stand up for an honest answer, spoken respectfully and quietly in the face of someone who has the power to hire me or not when I desperately need a job.

Taking the clue from her smile, I continued, "If you hire me, I'm not only working for you, but I'm working for God." And I looked her straight in the eye.

Then she smiled broadly and said, "That's a good answer. That shows character and integrity. I like that. That's good."

I need this job terrifically. But I need my Lord more. I was respectful and I was thoughtful and I was instant in prayer, but I was truthful.

In the end of all things, I will have to remember whose child I am. I my Father's child. He watches over me and will never leave me. He loves me and like any child of ours, He longs for us to be proud of Him.

So Daddy, into your hands I commit this interview. I pray you always give me the strength to say, "I am proud of you!" in the eyes of the world.

[Mat 10:32 NKJV] - "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.


Your Adopted and Loving Son,
Jack

Coffee and a Muffin

Today started out with the most wonderful surprise. Debbie showed up at my client's site and brought me a coffee and a muffin. And then she said, "I am proud of you."

That one phrase and that one act was one of the best gifts I have received in a very, very long time. I have told three men about it several times today, almost bragging.

My wife is proud of me.

Pro 18:22 NKJV - [He who] finds a wife finds a good [thing], And obtains favor from the LORD.

Thank you, Debbie! I love you.

Jack

The Interview

The interview I had on Monday went well. Well, actually all three interviews I've had with the company went well.

So what does that mean? Absolutely nothing!

It only means that I did my best and God will now either open this door or close this door. I can do no more and no less.

Whew! That was easy. I only had to endure 3 hours of grilling and many hours of preparation. Now the hard part is God's. He's got to get busy shaping plans, molding hearts, guiding thoughts and organizing human chess pieces.

I got the easy part.

[Pro 16:9 NKJV] - A man's heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

Jack

This and a Buck-fifty...

I am pleased to report that tomorrow, Monday, October 5th, I have an interview. An actual face-to-face with real people who are not looking to make me an insurance agent or sell multi-level marketing plans.

It's a good job and one I'm very qualified for. And interestingly enough, I did not find them, but they found me through their system of recruiters.

Very good. I'll do my level best and be as positive as possible because I am excited. And I promise not to get those, "This and a buck-fifty will get me a cup of coffee blues" because I've been down this path so many times where the job is perfect for my experience but I still remain the bridesmaid at the end.

I ask for your prayers for good preparation, wisdom, humility, open ears of the interview team and faithful understanding.

Jam 4:13 NKJV - Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what [will happen] tomorrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you [ought] to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that."

So Lord, if You will, I will.

Jack

MRI Results -- Pleasant Words

Many of you have heard the news, but I want to make sure it is officially posted about Debbie's MRI two weeks ago. It came back negative!

This is great on two levels. The first is that she is able to detect small changes herself and that's important. The second level is that what she detected was a shrinking of some damage caused by the surgery and radiation. So in effect, her body is reabsorbing some of that damage which is simply a good thing for a body to do.

We are ecstatic about this. And it's nice to be able to report some pleasant words.

[Pro 16:24 NKJV] - Pleasant words [are like] a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.

Two Beautiful Girls

I spend most of my day sweating and getting dirty and incurring new cuts, bruises and aches.

And then...

...I come home.

I come home to two incredibly wonderful girls who are 4 and 9 years old. They come bounding out of the house when they hear my car pull up. Each one runs up for a hug, their blond hair flying. They both eagerly jockey for my attention and their day spills out of their excited lips until I get all mixed up trying to figure out which one held the class dog, which one voted in their school elections and which one made a new friend today.

We quickly consume a yummy dinner and then each one wants to play outside, do a science experiment or swing on the swing hanging on our pine tree.

I'm telling you, the world may be falling apart around me in many ways, but THIS is the way to end the day.

Love,
Daddy

A Beautiful Day

So it's been a day after our interview on NBC and I am beginning to realize that I just aired out some incredibly intimate details about my family on TV: And I cried; and I had tousled hair by the end of the interview; and my wife was in a hospital gown being placed in a large tube all the while talking about her breast cancer.

It's almost like one of those bad dreams where you end up in your underwear in front of your schoolmates.

And then people called me saying they cried as they watched the show. Or they sobbed...or were inspired...or were encouraged...or learned about God in a new way.

Suddenly, I'm not in a bad dream anymore. I begin to see some purpose in what is happening. The bad dream turns into a beautiful day.

This morning I found this Scripture:

Luk 21:12 NKJV - You will be brought before kings and rulers for My name's sake. But it will turn out for you as an occasion for testimony.

So I humbly thank God for His never leaving me nor forsaking me. And I thank Him for the people He has touched.

Jack

Mysterious Ways

I am humbled. We watched ourselves on NBC this afternoon and within minutes, people began to contact us to offer help. Some folks promised needed funds, others offered prayers and encouragement and still others wise advice.

Believe me, it is all so appreciated. In fact, the most valuable thing we have seen thus far is simply the outpouring of support being given to us.

So apparently God can use whatever methods He wants to help us; and frankly, that's fine by me. So what if God works in mysterious ways? I say, let Him.

Why? Because:

Isa 55:8 NKJV - "For My thoughts [are] not your thoughts, Nor [are] your ways My ways," says the LORD. "For [as] the heavens are higher than the earth, So are My ways higher than your ways, And My thoughts than your thoughts."

Thank you Lord for the love you are showing us through your children.

And thank you to all of you who have responded to our needs. May God bless you a hundred fold.

Jack & Debbie

The Cat

So last Friday Debbie and I sat in front of the NBC cameraman and an Emmy-award winning news reporter/producer. They were consummate professionals as we spilled our guts about the last year-and-a-half. They made us feel comfortable and safe and they managed to respect our privacy.

And then they made us cry.

Fabulous. I'm going on NBC news and I'm crying.

Just when I think I've got a grip on our situation, a particularly poignant detail surfaces and I lose it.

In this case the reporter asked how the children were taking the possibility of losing the house. I described our 9-year old's thoughts and then explained how the 4-year old really didn't know. But she knows enought to grab the cat around the belly and say, "Daddy! Please don't give away the kitty! Please not the kitty! I love the kitty!"

As I described this during the interview, my heart just broke. How do I assure her I don't intend to ever give away our wonderful friend the cat when I know that if we have to move, we will probably have to do just that.

My voice could barely get the words out and my eyes filled with tears in front of the camera.

I can live anywhere, but when I think about what a move would mean to my children and my wife, I can't stand it.

Please remember us, Lord. You've given me this family and I am unable to provide for them.

Your loving and hopeful son,
Jack

Out of Control

Nuts.

I thought we had a solution to our foreclosure process. It seemed good, it seemed it was from God and it seemed doable. But no...it's not going to happen. Then I had a recommendation from senior management from a major company and it produced nothing. In short order.

Nuts.

I have zero control over losing my house right now. And when I sit down and think about the packing and the moving and the "oh-my-we-may-only have-weeks-to-do-this-when-the-notice-comes" fear, I just sit down frozen. How do I talk to my children? How do I comfort my wife? How do I tell my friends?

Lord, I don't know how to do this. I've never lost anything this big before. I lost my Dad to cancer, but I knew your plan for him was better than his staying here. And I miss my Dad so much. So I guess you must have a better plan for my family than I can imagine.

Some people think that because I have a smile on, that I don't hurt from all this. It's not true at all. I find my happiness in many moments each day that make me smile such as a sunny day at the beach with my girls or a yummy chili dinner or a day's work.

It is true that I have a peace that surpasses all understanding. But that does not mean I am not scared, confused and hurting. I just trust God that He is still at work (Rom 8:28 NKJV - And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to [His] purpose).

So Lord, I am on my face. Please hear my prayer:

[Mat 26:39 NKJV] - "O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as You [will]."


And Your response is:

Phl 4:6 NKJV - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God;
and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.


In trust,
Son Jack

Two are Better Than One

Last week I was working on a very large pergola (arbor) for a friend in Los Angeles. The project is beautiful but I vastly underestimated the amount of materials and labor needed for completion.

So, despite the very close proximity of the LA Fires, despite the smoke in the air causing burning in the lungs and tearing eyes, despite the 106 F heat and despite the tremendous shoulder et al pain Debbie has from her former treatments, Debbie was beside me painting the wood and hauling pieces of lumber back and forth. I was so grateful.

And tomorrow we head back for one more day together t0 try and finish. I won't be able to finish it myself, but if she helps, we stand a chance. We need to finish it because it is a 120 mile trek back and forth between our two houses and we mustn't take any more time.

The Bible says it well about being married:

Ecc 4:9 NKJV - Two [are] better than one, Because they have a good reward for their labor. For if they fall, one will lift up his companion. But woe to him [who is] alone when he falls, For [he has] no one to help him up.

Thank you, Debbie for lifting me up when I fell on this project!

Jack

The Right Tool at the Right Time

There is a maxim among any people who use tools. The right tool at the right time is priceless.

I am building a giant pergola (arbor) for a client. God has blessed me with skill I really don't have and I'm having a good time. Then it comes time to cut the ends of the rafters in fancy corbel cuts. I whip out my Dad's trusty 30 year old miniature saw and fail...and try again and fail again...and try again and fail again. It's just the wrong tool and to continue to use it would spoil the project and probably injure me.

So after prayer, I went and bought the right tool. I can't afford it, but I have to have it to get the job done correctly and safely. The next four hours went smoothly and joyfully. The right tool at the right time is priceless.

Last week I had to help my partner (and mentor) through a difficult problem in a kitchen remodel. He used me infrequently and I had to stand around waiting quite a bit in between helps. But I did not feel badly not helping all the time: I was the right tool at the right time when he needed me.

Today I hope you find an opportunity to be the right tool at the right time for someone. The rewards for that person are fantastic and your reward in heaven is sure:

Gal 6:2 NKJV - Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Be the right tool,
Jack

Today I am a ...

What am I today, God?

He answers...
"Today you are a handyman."

What will I be tomorrow, God?
"It's not for you to know tomorrow, Jack."

But God, I am an Operations Manager, capable of leading people and caring for them in business.
"Yes you have done these things, but today you are a handyman."

But God, I've got living expenses and a mortgage and children and a father-in-law and my Debbie and health care bills and..."
"Yes, but today you are a handyman."

But God, things don't look so good prospect wise for a job in my old line of work. I keep looking every day and just tonight I submitted three more resumes and ...
"True, but today I have called you to do certain things for me. And I want you to be a good steward with what I've given you so I can give you more next time. So. Today you are a handyman."

But God I need more tools and more skills and more knowledge to be a good handyman for you today!
"[Mat 6:33 NKJV] - ...seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."

God?
"Yes?"

Can I still call myself an Operations Manager?
"Yes, Jack. But today..."

I know God, I know...today I am a handyman!
"You got it. Now go be a good handyman."

Thank you, God! Thank you for not forgetting me and my family. Thank you.

Jack

Promises, promises

Did Life ever promise me it'd be a bed of roses? Nope. It promised to be full of rose thorns instead. At least that's what the Bible teaches me. Does Life owe me for the hand I've been dealt? Nope. Not according to God for He controls all things, not "Life". Did Life promise me it'd be fair and considerate of my wife and children and me? Nope, nope, nope. It promised that it would be impartial in it's pain, hitting sinners and saved alike with it's remorseless and uncompassionate goings-on in it's sin-stained brokenness.

I don't see any promises issued by Life that I care to stand around waiting for.

Did God promise He'd never leave me nor forsake me? Yes! Did God promise to be my comforter and healer? Yes! Did God promise that even though I cannot understand His ways, His ways are perfect? YES!

So God, I choose your promises in this broken world of sickness, surgeries, theft, car problems, murder and pain. Please help me remember what I have that is good: my wife, children, family, food and a roof.

Please help me remember that Life owes me nothing and that I owe you everything.

Rom 12:1 NKJV - I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.

Jack

An Exceptional Woman

I am married to an exceptional woman. Yesterday she culminated this rotten year by putting aside 17 months of craziness to stand in front of 800 people at the American Cancer Society "Strides" kick-off.

I watched Debbie speak and cry and laugh and I watched 800 people do the same. Afterwards people came to her and stood in line to be comforted and to offer comfort.

Her presence on stage filled people with hope and her testimony about miracles in dark times inspired so many.

In the written program at each table, there were many speakers listed, many of them with big fancy titles and a string of letters after their names such as MD, PhD, etc.

My Debbie's title was, "An Exceptional Woman".

They are right.

Jack

Proud of Debbie

I'm very proud of Debbie. Tomorrow she will speak to 800 people about breast cancer for the American Cancer Society.

2Cr 1:3 NKJV - Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.

Wave to me, Debbie! I'll be in the back row watching with all my heart.

Jack

Things that go bump in the night

I was serving a client (handyman stuff again) and we began talking. During the course of the conversation with this elderly husband and wife it came up that she is a 7 year survivor of breast cancer. We shared some common experiences between her and Debbie and one that came up was the fact that every time there is a new ache or pain, the first reaction is, "Has cancer come back?"

It's strange to be living under that kind of shadow. It taints things in an unhappy and nervous way. I hope eventually we'll get over that, or at least manage it better, but in the meantime, it's another exercise in trust.

Pro 3:5 NKJV - Trust in the LORD with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

Pressing on,
Jack

A Sound Mind

OK. I believe the Bible. It says, [2Ti 1:7 NKJV] - For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

So if I have a sound mind, where in the world did I place mine? It's around here somewhere, I just know it!

I'll keep looking,
Jack

If I Were a Rich Man

"If I were a rich man...Ya ha deedle deedle, bubba bubba deedle deedle dum!" There once was a time when I was a rich man. Once upon a time I was well off. I could buy anything I wanted and I really did not worry about it.

Now I am a handyman. And happy. While it's not easy being poor, there are some definite perks. The biggest is that I perceive the world in a new light. It used to be that I did not worry about food. Now I am conscious that there's lots of good milk still in the cereal bowl at the end...and in that milk there is lots of good nutritional value to be had.

There once was a time when getting a good deal at a name store for clothes was great, but now getting a fantastic deal at the thrift store is a total victory in the day.

There used to be a time when buying a new tool was a nicety, now it's critical for my work.

And so far, God is providing for us. That's really cool. We're still not making enough for the mortgage, but I'm making more every day. I'm still looking for traditional work, but day by day God is providing something or other.

I feel good at the end of the day. I've worked hard and contributed to my family's well-being. And I've faithfully served my clients.

There is a promise to be had here:

Mat 6:25 NKJV - "Therefore I say to you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink; nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothing?

Mat 6:26 NKJV - Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?

Mat 6:27 NKJV - Which of you by worrying can add one cubit to his stature?

Mat 6:28 NKJV - "So why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin;

Mat 6:29 NKJV - and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.

Mat 6:30 NKJV - Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, [will He] not much more [clothe] you, O you of little faith?

Mat 6:31 NKJV - "Therefore do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?'

Mat 6:32 NKJV - For after all these things the Gentiles seek. For your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things.

Mat 6:33 NKJV - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Mat 6:34 NKJV - Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day [is] its own trouble.

We have not starved yet and He has more miracles to provide for us because the essential bills are many. But He is faithful.

He promised.

Jack

Prayer Crutches

Have you ever sat in your prayer time and just sat there...and sat...and sat...and sat? Pretty soon your mind begins to make up stories and day dreams. Then doubt sneaks in and says things like, "You've already prayed that before, don't do it again!" or, "He knows what I need to pray, I'll just sit here and count it as praying."

I've had the incredible experience to lead a prayer ministry for years and I've had incredible encounters with God during prayer and worship...times that I could almost literally touch His face. And yet, there I sit in the wee hours of the dark morning unable to utter a prayer.

While God may honor the time that I've committed, I doubt much is getting accomplished by my prayer, or lack thereof. In those times, which have become really quite frequent, I have found something very valuable: prayer crutches.

I have been sick enough physically to know when I need help, and I have learned to know the signs of spiritual fatigue to know when I need help as well. So these last months I have kept two wonderful books by my side during prayer and have prayed through them three or four times each.

One of the books said something which made great sense to me. It answered the question, "Does it really work to pray prayers that someone else has written?" The answer was, "Does it really work to sing praise songs written by other people?"

That made sense to me. Now I can take these prayers when I am stumped, and pray them until a part resonates with my heart. Then I can elaborate and expound on these points and I am back into a praying spirit.

The first of these two books is, "The Power of a Praying Husband" by Stormie. The second is "The Love Dare" by Stephan and Alex Kendrick. After reading both from cover to cover, I have subsequently gone back and simply prayed through the hundreds of Scriptures and prayer bullets and full prayers without going back through the text.

The result is sure. God works through prayer. And He works through other people and their works. I have seen more change in the days that I pray from these "crutches" than I have seen in hundreds of days of vague prayers caused by spiritual fatigue.

I encourage you, stay in prayer. Stay focused and pray earnestly with all your heart and from a place of selflessness.

Jam 5:16 NKJV - Confess [your] trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.

Jack

Breadcrumbs and Rat Pee

I was incredibly moved by my friend's blog yesterday (http://www.laurashooksblog.blogspot.com/). In it Laura describes her 98 year old grandmother as beginning nearly every journal entry with, "It was a beautiful day...".

Man, Grandma got it right. "It is a beautiful day". Yesterday I went to work as a handyman: "it was a beautiful day". Then the bank said we have at least another month in our home because of Arnold's moratorium on foreclosures; we don't qualify for that extension per the rules, but I guess God plays by His own rules: "it was a beautiful day". And I spent two hours working in the hot sun with scratched up arms amidst a bunch of rat pee and poop: "it was a beautiful day."

God keeps tossing us breadcrumbs (such as a day's work and the extension) and rat pee doesn't bother me. Is not God the same in both situations? Lam 3:38 NKJV - [Is it] not from the mouth of the Most High That woe and well-being proceed?

I am learning bit by bit [Phl 4:11 NKJV] - ... in whatever state I am, to be content"

So...I agree, Grandma! It was a beautiful day.

Jack

Up, Chuck and Run

Ever have one of those days? You know, the kind where you want to rise up, chuck it all and run?

It's been another one of those days for us. Debbie and I spent the day vainly trying to find work, sadly trying to go through the five tons of stuff we own to sell at the big garage sale and gropingly trying to investigate every option into keeping our house. My stomach hurt I was so unhappy today. And it hurt yesterday too, coupled with an inability to focus and the memory of a gnat.

OK. So I'm stressed. And I keep banging my head against a job search wall that's not budging.

In my ministry presentations I sometimes talk about changing one's point-of-view. Sir Isaac Newton (so the story goes) made the intuitive leap in understanding gravity when an apple conked him on the head. Archimedes suddenly solved a great problem in hydro-dynamics and volume when he slipped into a hot bath tub. Christopher Columbus suddenly understood the world was round when he observed a butterfly traversing an orange.

In each case, the victim's (err...person's) point-of-view changed just slightly in order to produce dramatic effects. Their world view was transformed in an instant, just by looking at a problem differently.

I'm looking for the POV shift now. I get this gnawing feeling in the pit of my spirit that if I just look at our situation just a tad differently and let God show me what He's been trying to show me for so long He'll be able to deliver the promised miracle I believe He has for us in a job, in a living situation and in our hearts.

While 90% of me is ready to rise up, chuck it all and run, there is that still, small voice which tells me to be patient, to be hopeful and to remain steadfast for His deliverance. That's not hopeless optimism. It is hope-filled faith. And frankly, it's His faith not mine because I'd rather grab on to the whopping 90% of fear I am familiar with and forget about the 10% small voice.

1Ki 19:11 NKJV - Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, [but] the LORD [was] not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, [but] the LORD [was] not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, [but] the LORD [was] not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

I encourage you to listen to that still small voice. He knows what He's talking about.

Jack

Of Lemons and Lemonade

"Wow." All I could say was, "Wow." Fifty high school children and adults were staring at me in the dark, all of them laughing and twittering and having a good time and suddenly there was silence.

I was presenting how the heavens declare the glory of God to a high school retreat last week. We were outside at night and the show was shining via a projector on the side of the ranch house while the grass was cool relief from the heat of the desert day under the bare feet of the audience.

God had put on my heart that I was to bend this presentation to "hope versus hopelessness" and thereby minister to these teens with a message of comfort from the God who created the universe. But I really didn't know how to get their attention.

I have really cool photos and movies about the stars and planets and such and I have worked hard at being entertaining and a good teacher to any aged audience. But I was still stumped at how to "connect" with these kids about hopelessness and hope as God had directed me to do.

So after I started the presentation and we were all having a good time, God whispered to me, "Tell them about you and your family...how you really do know what despair is like." And that's when it happened. I stopped the jokes and told them, "I've been telling you that if you are feeling sad and lonely at this retreat and like an outsider when your friends are having such a good time, I can tell you, I know what sadness and despair feel like." And then I shared with them about my wife's health and my finances and my inability to find a job and fulfil my role as a provider.

Suddenly I went from an entertaining teacher on astronomy and God to a real person who understood what individuals were feeling. In that moment, I gained the credibility with the audience that I needed and that God wanted to give me so He could minister to young souls.

We looked up from my presentation on the side of the ranch house and looked up at the sky overhead. The sky was so dark that the Milky Way was clearly visible and we could see satellites racing overhead. Clouds of stars floated in inky space and meteors became shooting stars right before us. In that moment, we stopped looking at ourselves and looked at the God of the Universe. In that moment fifty lives were changed, including mine.

After the retreat was over I met with the high school pastor for a moment. He said that the presentation was voted the best part of the retreat and that many kids had told him they were ministered to and suddenly understood God's awesomeness in times of trouble.

God had given me marching orders to talk on hope versus hopelessness. I did not know how to do it but I marched. Then at the right time He gave another order on what to say, just in the nick of time. And He, not me, was magnified.

He did not do it to lift me up but He did it to serve a bunch of children and adults that He loves and whom He wants healed. God knows the troubles all of us face, and He wants to touch us. Satan tries to destroy, but God is supreme: Gen 50:20 NKJV - "But as for you, you meant evil against me; [but] God meant it for good..."

Listen to God's still, small voice and He will tell you which direction to march. And look for Him to show up in the most amazing places and in the most unsuspected times.

He's waiting for you.

Update on Debbie

Of all the miracles, great and great (there are no small miracles), I want to give an update on Debbie. While Debbie remains with a slew of physical issues that were caused by the cancer and its treatment, she has been pronounced clean of cancer (asides from the microscopic cancer cells which will always float around her body).

The fact that I still have my Debbie and our girls still have their Mommy is a miracle. At this point, we are dealing with the serious aftermath which includes osteoporosis, a frozen shoulder (very painful which can keep her awake at night), mystery pains in various and sundry places...and many more symptoms which shall remain nameless at this point.

She will remain on the current medication (which caused the osteoporosis) for another 4 1/2 years and continue to get various CT scans, mammograms, poking and prodding many times a year for the rest of her life. She will also get additional treatments and meds occasionally.

But as far as cancer goes...it went!

Be strong and of good courage,

Jack

Do not grow weary

Cancer is pure meanness. It is relentless. It does not follow Queensbury's rules. It attacks your body and your mind. And when it's done with you for the day it reaches out and attacks the family. Nobody is safe. It sucks your resources and your emotions and your strength. It steals your time and tries to run your life. And when it has tried to do all this, then it gets really ugly: it tries to get you to fight each other, even the ones you love.

I have only this to say about that, "Gal 6:9 NKJV - And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

God wins. Every time. There is nothing beyond His knowledge nor His understanding nor His resources.

When you have no more strength to fight one more day. Get up in His strength and fight one more time.

You can do it because He can do it.

Jack

Let God Skin the Cat

I learned a new thing this Saturday: There really is more than one way to skin a cat.

I had the absolute blessing to serve a good friend this weekend. As you may or may not know, I am an amateur astronomer and I give presentations on the heavens to folks. You can visit my site at http://www.starryhost.com/ to see the stuff that I do.

Well, one of my friends had a trade show to do but since he is in New York and I am in Vista, CA (15 minutes from the trade show), I volunteered to rep his incredible equipment line. Now the deal with this particular show is that they have a raffle at the end of the day giving away tens of thousands of dollars of great equipment. I have wanted to win for years but have not. And of course this year they would not let me enter the raffle because I was a representing a vendor.

I prayed, "God, I really want to win a particular piece of relatively inexpensive equipment so I can use it in my ministry with Starry Host. You know that I want it and that it would really bless the folks I work with. But these kind folks say I can't play. So if you want to give it to me, you'll have to do it another way. I trust that you are able to to do it if you want to."

I went to the expo and met a nice man my age who talked with me for only 5 minutes. He said he wins something every year to which I responded I don't and I can't this year. We parted ways and I kept working. At the end of the day during the raffle (which I was not paying attention to) this guy ran up to me and said, "See! I told you I win every year." And he handed me an envelop with his prize in it and said, "Now you are part way there to that equipment you wanted." It was a gift certificate to an astronomy company.

Tears welled up as I realized God's work in our lives through the lives of others. I don't know this man, but God used him nonetheless to bless me.

I remembered that God has already set into motion my entire life and all the answers to all of my prayers. When Abraham sent his servant to the homeland to find a wife for Isaac, the servant had an impossibly improbable task of finding God's choice of that wife. So he prayed, "Gen 24:14 NKJV - Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink'--[let] her [be the one] You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master. And it happened, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.

Can you imagine that? BEFORE he had finished praying, the answer to his prayer was already in the works, walking directly towards him. Our God is sovereign in all things at all times. [Mat 6:33 NKJV] - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Be encouraged that whatever you need in your life is already planned for in God's plan. He's just waiting for us to ask. And remember, there is more than one way for God to "skin a cat."

Jack

Do you wanna dance?

My children have this enthusiastic little dance. They bend over backwards while walking under a stick doing the "limbo", all the while singing, "Limbo Limbo LimBO!" There is joy in their dancing. But where is mine?

My limbo dance is just that, a dance in limbo. Lately my whole life seems in limbo. Debbie's health is in limbo; my job search for 36 months seems in terminal limbo; opportunities to minister seem in limbo. I get up and dutifully chant, "Limbo Limbo LimBO! Limbo Limbo LimBO! Limbo Limbo LimBO!"

The limbo is a dance all alone. And when you dance all alone you get sad. Have you ever felt like a giant 50 pound wet grey blanket is on your shoulders? Do you get to the point where you take a walk in your garden, see a piece of trash and not want to bend down to pick it up? Do you give up when trying to think of good things to do for your family? Do you panic when asked to make even a small, inconsequential decision about ANYTHING?

That's what dancing alone leads to. I know. I used to allow myself one of "these days" once a month. But they are coming more frequently. That's not a good thing. I've got dancing to do which requires me to provide for my family emotionally, physically and spiritually. But they come sometimes nonetheless.

The only way I have found to get out of these doldrums is to remember that I am not dancing alone. My dance partner is God. Granted, I'm pretty clumsy, but He is a wonderful dancer and very gracious. A good dance partner (I'm told) leads his partner with sublime nuances in pressure and nudges. My dance partner gives me those all the time.

He reminds me He is dancing with me even though I still get so worried about the dance steps that I forget His gentle nudges.

Here are some examples:

• A few days ago I woke up and pleaded with God to show me, "Why???" I flipped open the bible and found 2Cr 1:3 NKJV - Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
• Then an hour later Debbie asks me to read another wonderful blog of our friend (who is fighting cancer-http://laurashooksblog.blogspot.com/) and together we read this Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:4-6 He comforts us in all our troubles so we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. Sound familiar? It's the same Scripture twice within hours!
• Then a few hours later Debbie receives an invitation that very day to speak at an American Cancer Society event in front of 800 people to implement the very same Scripture so she can comfort others

I ask you, does this happen by blind luck? Does this happen by cold karma? Does this happen by good works? I shout, "NO!" to all of these. This is evidence that our dance partner is with us, leading us gently, almost imperceptibly. This is evidence that a loving, volitional God has said [Hbr 13:5 NKJV] - ... "I will never leave you nor forsake you.". This is evidence that even today, in any sadness, I am to Jam 1:2 NKJV - ...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

So yes, sometimes I want to simply lay down and not get up. And yes, those days are wretched. But then I remember my dance partner and I get back up again. And when I adhere to His prescription, to remember that "Phl 4:8 NKJV - ...whatever things are true, whatever things [are] noble, whatever things [are] just, whatever things [are] pure, whatever things [are] lovely, whatever things [are] of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if [there is] anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. I remember to let God direct my steps in His Dance.

Let God be YOUR dance partner. Let Him lead you. Let Him sweep you off your feet.

Jack

Be a caregiver...it'll kill you!

Here's a career slogan for you, "Be a caregiver...it will kill you!" And the funny thing is, that's a GOOD thing!

Let me explain. When I signed up to marry my wonderful wife, I signed up for in sickness and in health. Easy words to pray. Now after two heinous pregnancies and a bout with cancer, I have found myself being a caregiver in ways I really never anticipated for long stretches at a time.

Debbie never thought of herself as needing care. She has always been strong, independent and healthy. I love her for these qualities. But then illness happens. And helplessness happens. And dependency happens.

And for the spouse? Your life goes on hold. So do your dreams and your plans for a day's tasks and the ability to get the same kind of care reciprocated back to you in any equitable quantity.

If you are a caregiver or a single parent or any form of person whom other people rely on during the day and night, you have my prayers. It's a hard job.

And if you do this in your own strength and your own love you will fail. Miserably. And your "caregivee" will know it.

The only way to be able to care for someone well is to die. You must die to yourself and be renewed again unto God. If not, you will never be able to give that one more back rub that's so desperately needed and deserved by your loved one. You won't be able to get back out of bed at 1 am to get the Tylenol. You won't be able to take care of the children one more time while your quiet prayer time is shattered by an early rising 8 year old.

Not that any of these things happen to me...or even to you. I'm just saying... :-)

So ask God for His heart and His plans for you today as a caregiver. Mat 6:33 NKJV - ...seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Trust God to remember that you have needs and plans as well. He may just say to you that your single job today is to love your spouse well while you pour into them. Jhn 15:13 NKJV - Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

So how do I have the strength to one more time answer my beloved Debbie's call for assistance? By realizing that she IS my greatest blessing and that she deserves the very best of my love. And then I remember that she is fighting a greater fight than I could ever hope to understand right now. I can see her trials but I can't live them like she has to.

And suddenly the job becomes easy and a joy.

May God bless you with His plans becoming your plans today.

Jack

As sparks fly upward

Just when I have another person say, "Jack, your life is so difficult!", I find someone else who makes my troubles pale in comparison. Or at least I think they do.

Granted: 1) I am having difficulty keeping my house; 2) I have not worked but 8 months in 3 years; 3) Debbie had breast cancer and continues with nasty treatments which wreak havoc on her body and spirits; 4) I had 6 days of meningitis during the worst part of this trip; 5) government programs to help us have failed utterly; 6) etc., etc., etc.

My point is, who am I to complain?

Should I complain more than my brother-in-Christ who has lived in his auto for 4 years yet still praises God by saying he is simply living comfortably and within his means? Perhaps I should compare myself against the sister-in-Christ who gave birth to her boy but could not hold him because of clot-like issues (an AVM) suddenly developing in her brain and her losing sight in one eye (yet she still believes in the power of prayer)? Maybe I should compare myself to my good friend who has suffered pressing business difficulties and hospitalized family members and wakes up early in the morning to a flooded house (and yet he still finds the heart to help me and my family).

Job 5:7 NKJV - ...man is born to trouble, As the sparks fly upward.

God only gives us the burdens we can bear. He does not tempt us beyond what we are able to resist! Each of my friends described above has extremely difficult giants to face; yet each one is pressing on and doing what is right and expressing love in different ways.

I honestly don't think I could take the other's problems, just as they have expressed the same towards me. God is watching each of us in each of our circumstances. Sometimes He causes them and sometimes He simply allows them to happen. But at all times His question is, "Will my child turn to me for help?"

Please. Turn to God for help. [Psa 116:2 NKJV] - Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call [upon Him] as long as I live.

He leans forward, bending His ear to hear the words, "I need you, God."

What's the Recipe?

My eldest daughter, Helena, has discovered baking. She loves it. And in fact she seems to be good at it. That warm blueberry muffin cake a few days ago was phenomenal. So she wants more recipes. "Daddy, what's the recipe for this?" Or, "What's the recipe for that?"

My wife and I want to know what the recipe for getting out of this mess is. Last night we talked about it at length.

Trying to be a good husband, I prayerfully considered my first response and timidly tossed out, "Do you have any unforgiveness? The Bible says that if we stand before God praying and realize we are not at right relationship with someone, Mat 5:24 NKJV - leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Fortunately she took the question well and we went through the list of friends and family members with whom we might be angry or disappointed.

Then Debbie suggested, "What else does God want from us? I think we're about as broken as can be!" She said this because God's pattern is that He wants us completely dependent on Him and not on ourselves or our possessions. So we we talked about being broken for awhile.

We talked about a number of good Biblical approaches to why God has not answered our prayers yet. And they were all backed by Scripture. But there was no one recipe for us to point to and say, "There now! Slide the turkies into the oven because we are done!"

And yet, I still have faith. But now I know whose faith that is. Fourteen days ago I was at the men's retreat on my knees sobbing before God during worship. And all of a sudden my tears were interspersed with laughter. I'm talking gut-wrenching tears and belly-joyful laughing all at the same time. It was the strangest experience.

It was because God gave me a verse in that moment: Hbr 12:2 NKJV - looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For the first time ever I realized what it meant that Jesus is "the author and finisher of our faith."

That blew me away! God let me know unequivocably that He not only authored my faith and led me to Himself in 1984, but He is FINISHING my faith as well in these trials! There is no part of "Jacks Faith" in me that is worth a cent. It is Jesus' faith that is beginning to work itself to perfection in me. That's incredible news!

And what is the result of this? Phl 4:6 NKJV - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

HIS faith produces HIS peace and I get to have it!

So what is the recipe for getting this delicious dish? Part of it seems to be to start with [Luk 10:27 NKJV] - "'...love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,' and 'your neighbor as yourself.' " Then add a pinch of humility because [Psa 147:6 NKJV] - The LORD lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground? And don't forget adding the dash of repentence because [2Ch 7:14 NKJV] - if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land?

But those are only a few ingredients. The full recipe is found throughout the pages of the Bible and there are many, many ingredients more.

I don't know what the full recipe is for us and I certainly don't know what it is for you. All I know is that by some act of grace, God has seen fit to give me a taste of the final dish which is a measure of completion in Him.

I encourage all of you to seek God on your knees and in your hearts to ask for the same gift.

It is a dish that is savored beyond all others.

Chef Jack

Stick a needle in my eye!

There. I said it. Looking for work is like sticking a needle in my eye. I used to be able to look at a job description and say, "I could do that! I can change my resume and cover letter to match that job! I can do it!"

Now I read a job description and say, "They'll ding me for this point here...and they'll reject me for that one point there." I've gone from optimism to negativism. And I don't like the change.

Looking for work every day for 15 months now is a horrid task. I dread it. I fear sitting down at the computer. A guy can only take so much rejection from the world.

But it's at that point that I step back and realize that my identity is NOT what the world thinks of me. It is what Jesus thinks of me. He thinks that I am special and that I am trustworthy to take care of a beautiful wife and two wonderful children. He thinks I am capable of getting through these trials because He has promised never to let me be tempted beyond what I am able.

Wow. Those are pretty high expectations of my capabilities. "So then," I say to God. "Just where is my job, God? Where do you want me to look? How do you want me to change my point-of-view just enough so that I see the answer that has been there all along? Don't you want me to work?"

In response to that very urgent prayer this morning He had me flip open my Bible to a random page. And there I read from Ecclesiastes:

Ecc 7:9-10 NKJV - Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools. Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this.

Point well taken, God. I will not be angry anymore. Thank you for reminding me.

And then I read...

Ecc 7:13 NKJV - Consider the work of God; For who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, But in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, So that man can find out nothing [that will come] after him.

Right again. You keep us guessing about the future because we can make no sense of the past. You want us to trust in you for your benign providence.

And in answer to whether or not He wants me to work...

Ecc 5:18-20 NKJV - Here is what I have seen: [It is] good and fitting [for one] to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it [is] his heritage. As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor--this [is] the gift of God. For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps [him] busy with the joy of his heart.

Yes. He wants me to work. Not only that, but He wants me to enjoy the fruit of my work. And not only that, he wants me to be busy with the joy of my heart. Now that's a promise I can hold on to. He wants me to work doing the joy of my heart. That's not self-centered. It's not that I'm expecting to make money hanging out at the beach. It is exciting because my joy is to work for Him in anything that I do.

So I pray for my heart to align with God's heart and to find my vocation in His joy.

And thus I wait on Him another day.

Be encouraged.

Jack

There is pain and then there is PAIN

There is a list somewhere of the most painful experiences one can have in life. Among the top three are pregnancy and kidney stones.

Well, I've not experienced pregnancy, but I have had kidney stones. They hurt with a capital "H". I also know what six days of viral meningitis feels like and I've had that in the last 15 months. And I've seen the incredible pain that inflicted Debbie during her chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries.

OK. So I know physical pain. But there is another pain that is just as horrific. It's the pain of watching your house go further and further into debt. I've got that pain as well. And it is a real "gotcha on the ropes" kind of pain.

The problem with this pain is that it impacts everyone in the household: Mom, Dad and Children. I think even the cat knows there is trouble brewing.

It's the pain of deciding which of your childhood remnants you sell on the driveway to a stranger. It's the pain of knowing that your dream of watching your girls have their wedding receptions in your backyard when they grow up vanish. It's the pain of knowing your wife is torn up trying to keep the family nest in one piece but being powerless to do so.

I know God has a great plan for us. I also know that part of that plan is to turn our pain over to Him. But I'm here to say that this is a learning process that will take me a lifetime to accomplish well.

So I pray. And I read the Bible. And I ask for strength to get up one more day and walk through it.

And every single day God meets me. He meets me in the small flowers in our gardens that only He could create so beautifully. He meets me as I watch the birds gather their food without worry as a metaphor that I need to do the same. He meets me in the endless love of my children and my wife. He meets me in the quiet of prayer time. And He meets me in the kindness of friends.

So each day I am learning to turn the emotional pain over to Him. There is no other way to handle it. There is no other "god" who actually cares for me like the most sincere lover I can imagine.

That is why I have hope. Not that I first loved God, but that He first loved me. No other god acts with volitional love. And for that I am profoundly in awe.

So for today's pain...I tell you to go check in with my Maker. He'll set you straight and send you back from whence you came.

Jack

Like a Bad Movie

Debbie and I have often said that this roller coaster ride could not have been written even as a bad "B" movie in Hollywood. I can see the trailer now..."See the pain! Feel the pathos! Relive the hopelessness! Watch as one family loses their health and then their income! Visit the chemo bay where the mother spent hours every week ingesting poison into her body to combat cancer! See the hospital where the father recovered from meningitis! See the medical bills mount sky-high!"

And yet, there is another movie I've seen which I am reminded of: "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. In that movie, Jimmy Stewart's character has asked that his life be made null and void. God obliges and Jimmy begins to see all the people's lives he had touched. In the finale, despite huge financial scandal, all of the family's dozens of friends come forward to shower them with blessings.

It is the later movie that I reckon with. When I sent out an email indicating our dire straits, it was not to solicit help. It was only to draw a line in the sand to say that God has great things in store. Then one friend began a rally among many friends that has begun a shower of blessings to our family.

Debbie and I are stunned by the outpouring of love and support. From prayer to money to food cards to advice to encouragement to "nice-to-haves", each gift is an amazing gift.

Jesus promised that those who give to their friends in need will be blessed in this life and the next. You are all walking testimonies to love.

And we thank you.

Jack

And so it begins...

And so it begins...with a bang and not a whimper (pardons to T.S. Eliot).

This Blog has been in response to the encouragement of a number of people who wish to understand why I can say in the midst of our current great trials, "How great is our God!"

Let me first define God for you because so many people use "God" to describe many things. To many folks, "God" may mean the universal life force or the blind luck that people hope will turn their way. "God" may mean good intentions, good works or earned karma. "God" may even mean a universal consciousness or inner human nature that must only be uncovered for a man to reach peace and strength.

I am here to tell you that my God is more than these. I too believed in all those other gods at one point in my life. And yet I finally began to see that those other gods were incapable of instilling real hope. If I pray to those gods today, I have no reply and no reason to be hopeful that all the junk my family is going through right now has any more importance to it other than to make me stronger for the next barrage of trials until the day I die.

No. God knows my name, has counted every hair on my head and calls each star in the sky by name. His plans for me are for good and not for evil and His love has no end. His name is Jesus.

These intimacies with a concerned God are the reasons why I have hope. These are the reasons why I can stand firm and watch my house drift towards the auctioneer's block and not panic. These are the reasons why I can see the bills come in with no hope of being paid, and patiently wait until Provision is made.

As you come with me on this Blog journey through our current trials, you will see that I am not perfect nor is my strength my own. You will see that I have bouts of sadness and bouts of fear. And yet at the end of the day, when I'm done shaking my fist at God and wondering, "Where are you?", God is still God and I am still in His hands.

And that is why I have hope. I am no person's fool. I am simply loved by Him.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me,

Jack