Breadcrumbs and Rat Pee

I was incredibly moved by my friend's blog yesterday (http://www.laurashooksblog.blogspot.com/). In it Laura describes her 98 year old grandmother as beginning nearly every journal entry with, "It was a beautiful day...".

Man, Grandma got it right. "It is a beautiful day". Yesterday I went to work as a handyman: "it was a beautiful day". Then the bank said we have at least another month in our home because of Arnold's moratorium on foreclosures; we don't qualify for that extension per the rules, but I guess God plays by His own rules: "it was a beautiful day". And I spent two hours working in the hot sun with scratched up arms amidst a bunch of rat pee and poop: "it was a beautiful day."

God keeps tossing us breadcrumbs (such as a day's work and the extension) and rat pee doesn't bother me. Is not God the same in both situations? Lam 3:38 NKJV - [Is it] not from the mouth of the Most High That woe and well-being proceed?

I am learning bit by bit [Phl 4:11 NKJV] - ... in whatever state I am, to be content"

So...I agree, Grandma! It was a beautiful day.

Jack

Up, Chuck and Run

Ever have one of those days? You know, the kind where you want to rise up, chuck it all and run?

It's been another one of those days for us. Debbie and I spent the day vainly trying to find work, sadly trying to go through the five tons of stuff we own to sell at the big garage sale and gropingly trying to investigate every option into keeping our house. My stomach hurt I was so unhappy today. And it hurt yesterday too, coupled with an inability to focus and the memory of a gnat.

OK. So I'm stressed. And I keep banging my head against a job search wall that's not budging.

In my ministry presentations I sometimes talk about changing one's point-of-view. Sir Isaac Newton (so the story goes) made the intuitive leap in understanding gravity when an apple conked him on the head. Archimedes suddenly solved a great problem in hydro-dynamics and volume when he slipped into a hot bath tub. Christopher Columbus suddenly understood the world was round when he observed a butterfly traversing an orange.

In each case, the victim's (err...person's) point-of-view changed just slightly in order to produce dramatic effects. Their world view was transformed in an instant, just by looking at a problem differently.

I'm looking for the POV shift now. I get this gnawing feeling in the pit of my spirit that if I just look at our situation just a tad differently and let God show me what He's been trying to show me for so long He'll be able to deliver the promised miracle I believe He has for us in a job, in a living situation and in our hearts.

While 90% of me is ready to rise up, chuck it all and run, there is that still, small voice which tells me to be patient, to be hopeful and to remain steadfast for His deliverance. That's not hopeless optimism. It is hope-filled faith. And frankly, it's His faith not mine because I'd rather grab on to the whopping 90% of fear I am familiar with and forget about the 10% small voice.

1Ki 19:11 NKJV - Then He said, "Go out, and stand on the mountain before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the LORD, [but] the LORD [was] not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, [but] the LORD [was] not in the earthquake; and after the earthquake a fire, [but] the LORD [was] not in the fire; and after the fire a still small voice.

I encourage you to listen to that still small voice. He knows what He's talking about.

Jack

Of Lemons and Lemonade

"Wow." All I could say was, "Wow." Fifty high school children and adults were staring at me in the dark, all of them laughing and twittering and having a good time and suddenly there was silence.

I was presenting how the heavens declare the glory of God to a high school retreat last week. We were outside at night and the show was shining via a projector on the side of the ranch house while the grass was cool relief from the heat of the desert day under the bare feet of the audience.

God had put on my heart that I was to bend this presentation to "hope versus hopelessness" and thereby minister to these teens with a message of comfort from the God who created the universe. But I really didn't know how to get their attention.

I have really cool photos and movies about the stars and planets and such and I have worked hard at being entertaining and a good teacher to any aged audience. But I was still stumped at how to "connect" with these kids about hopelessness and hope as God had directed me to do.

So after I started the presentation and we were all having a good time, God whispered to me, "Tell them about you and your family...how you really do know what despair is like." And that's when it happened. I stopped the jokes and told them, "I've been telling you that if you are feeling sad and lonely at this retreat and like an outsider when your friends are having such a good time, I can tell you, I know what sadness and despair feel like." And then I shared with them about my wife's health and my finances and my inability to find a job and fulfil my role as a provider.

Suddenly I went from an entertaining teacher on astronomy and God to a real person who understood what individuals were feeling. In that moment, I gained the credibility with the audience that I needed and that God wanted to give me so He could minister to young souls.

We looked up from my presentation on the side of the ranch house and looked up at the sky overhead. The sky was so dark that the Milky Way was clearly visible and we could see satellites racing overhead. Clouds of stars floated in inky space and meteors became shooting stars right before us. In that moment, we stopped looking at ourselves and looked at the God of the Universe. In that moment fifty lives were changed, including mine.

After the retreat was over I met with the high school pastor for a moment. He said that the presentation was voted the best part of the retreat and that many kids had told him they were ministered to and suddenly understood God's awesomeness in times of trouble.

God had given me marching orders to talk on hope versus hopelessness. I did not know how to do it but I marched. Then at the right time He gave another order on what to say, just in the nick of time. And He, not me, was magnified.

He did not do it to lift me up but He did it to serve a bunch of children and adults that He loves and whom He wants healed. God knows the troubles all of us face, and He wants to touch us. Satan tries to destroy, but God is supreme: Gen 50:20 NKJV - "But as for you, you meant evil against me; [but] God meant it for good..."

Listen to God's still, small voice and He will tell you which direction to march. And look for Him to show up in the most amazing places and in the most unsuspected times.

He's waiting for you.

Update on Debbie

Of all the miracles, great and great (there are no small miracles), I want to give an update on Debbie. While Debbie remains with a slew of physical issues that were caused by the cancer and its treatment, she has been pronounced clean of cancer (asides from the microscopic cancer cells which will always float around her body).

The fact that I still have my Debbie and our girls still have their Mommy is a miracle. At this point, we are dealing with the serious aftermath which includes osteoporosis, a frozen shoulder (very painful which can keep her awake at night), mystery pains in various and sundry places...and many more symptoms which shall remain nameless at this point.

She will remain on the current medication (which caused the osteoporosis) for another 4 1/2 years and continue to get various CT scans, mammograms, poking and prodding many times a year for the rest of her life. She will also get additional treatments and meds occasionally.

But as far as cancer goes...it went!

Be strong and of good courage,

Jack

Do not grow weary

Cancer is pure meanness. It is relentless. It does not follow Queensbury's rules. It attacks your body and your mind. And when it's done with you for the day it reaches out and attacks the family. Nobody is safe. It sucks your resources and your emotions and your strength. It steals your time and tries to run your life. And when it has tried to do all this, then it gets really ugly: it tries to get you to fight each other, even the ones you love.

I have only this to say about that, "Gal 6:9 NKJV - And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart."

God wins. Every time. There is nothing beyond His knowledge nor His understanding nor His resources.

When you have no more strength to fight one more day. Get up in His strength and fight one more time.

You can do it because He can do it.

Jack

Let God Skin the Cat

I learned a new thing this Saturday: There really is more than one way to skin a cat.

I had the absolute blessing to serve a good friend this weekend. As you may or may not know, I am an amateur astronomer and I give presentations on the heavens to folks. You can visit my site at http://www.starryhost.com/ to see the stuff that I do.

Well, one of my friends had a trade show to do but since he is in New York and I am in Vista, CA (15 minutes from the trade show), I volunteered to rep his incredible equipment line. Now the deal with this particular show is that they have a raffle at the end of the day giving away tens of thousands of dollars of great equipment. I have wanted to win for years but have not. And of course this year they would not let me enter the raffle because I was a representing a vendor.

I prayed, "God, I really want to win a particular piece of relatively inexpensive equipment so I can use it in my ministry with Starry Host. You know that I want it and that it would really bless the folks I work with. But these kind folks say I can't play. So if you want to give it to me, you'll have to do it another way. I trust that you are able to to do it if you want to."

I went to the expo and met a nice man my age who talked with me for only 5 minutes. He said he wins something every year to which I responded I don't and I can't this year. We parted ways and I kept working. At the end of the day during the raffle (which I was not paying attention to) this guy ran up to me and said, "See! I told you I win every year." And he handed me an envelop with his prize in it and said, "Now you are part way there to that equipment you wanted." It was a gift certificate to an astronomy company.

Tears welled up as I realized God's work in our lives through the lives of others. I don't know this man, but God used him nonetheless to bless me.

I remembered that God has already set into motion my entire life and all the answers to all of my prayers. When Abraham sent his servant to the homeland to find a wife for Isaac, the servant had an impossibly improbable task of finding God's choice of that wife. So he prayed, "Gen 24:14 NKJV - Now let it be that the young woman to whom I say, 'Please let down your pitcher that I may drink,' and she says, 'Drink, and I will also give your camels a drink'--[let] her [be the one] You have appointed for Your servant Isaac. And by this I will know that You have shown kindness to my master. And it happened, before he had finished speaking, that behold, Rebekah, who was born to Bethuel, son of Milcah, the wife of Nahor, Abraham's brother, came out with her pitcher on her shoulder.

Can you imagine that? BEFORE he had finished praying, the answer to his prayer was already in the works, walking directly towards him. Our God is sovereign in all things at all times. [Mat 6:33 NKJV] - But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Be encouraged that whatever you need in your life is already planned for in God's plan. He's just waiting for us to ask. And remember, there is more than one way for God to "skin a cat."

Jack

Do you wanna dance?

My children have this enthusiastic little dance. They bend over backwards while walking under a stick doing the "limbo", all the while singing, "Limbo Limbo LimBO!" There is joy in their dancing. But where is mine?

My limbo dance is just that, a dance in limbo. Lately my whole life seems in limbo. Debbie's health is in limbo; my job search for 36 months seems in terminal limbo; opportunities to minister seem in limbo. I get up and dutifully chant, "Limbo Limbo LimBO! Limbo Limbo LimBO! Limbo Limbo LimBO!"

The limbo is a dance all alone. And when you dance all alone you get sad. Have you ever felt like a giant 50 pound wet grey blanket is on your shoulders? Do you get to the point where you take a walk in your garden, see a piece of trash and not want to bend down to pick it up? Do you give up when trying to think of good things to do for your family? Do you panic when asked to make even a small, inconsequential decision about ANYTHING?

That's what dancing alone leads to. I know. I used to allow myself one of "these days" once a month. But they are coming more frequently. That's not a good thing. I've got dancing to do which requires me to provide for my family emotionally, physically and spiritually. But they come sometimes nonetheless.

The only way I have found to get out of these doldrums is to remember that I am not dancing alone. My dance partner is God. Granted, I'm pretty clumsy, but He is a wonderful dancer and very gracious. A good dance partner (I'm told) leads his partner with sublime nuances in pressure and nudges. My dance partner gives me those all the time.

He reminds me He is dancing with me even though I still get so worried about the dance steps that I forget His gentle nudges.

Here are some examples:

• A few days ago I woke up and pleaded with God to show me, "Why???" I flipped open the bible and found 2Cr 1:3 NKJV - Blessed [be] the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.
• Then an hour later Debbie asks me to read another wonderful blog of our friend (who is fighting cancer-http://laurashooksblog.blogspot.com/) and together we read this Scripture: 2 Corinthians 1:4-6 He comforts us in all our troubles so we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us. For the more we suffer for Christ, the more God will shower us with his comfort through Christ. Even when we are weighed down with troubles, it is for your comfort and salvation! For when we ourselves are comforted, we will certainly comfort you. Then you can patiently endure the same things we suffer. Sound familiar? It's the same Scripture twice within hours!
• Then a few hours later Debbie receives an invitation that very day to speak at an American Cancer Society event in front of 800 people to implement the very same Scripture so she can comfort others

I ask you, does this happen by blind luck? Does this happen by cold karma? Does this happen by good works? I shout, "NO!" to all of these. This is evidence that our dance partner is with us, leading us gently, almost imperceptibly. This is evidence that a loving, volitional God has said [Hbr 13:5 NKJV] - ... "I will never leave you nor forsake you.". This is evidence that even today, in any sadness, I am to Jam 1:2 NKJV - ...count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.

So yes, sometimes I want to simply lay down and not get up. And yes, those days are wretched. But then I remember my dance partner and I get back up again. And when I adhere to His prescription, to remember that "Phl 4:8 NKJV - ...whatever things are true, whatever things [are] noble, whatever things [are] just, whatever things [are] pure, whatever things [are] lovely, whatever things [are] of good report, if [there is] any virtue and if [there is] anything praiseworthy--meditate on these things. I remember to let God direct my steps in His Dance.

Let God be YOUR dance partner. Let Him lead you. Let Him sweep you off your feet.

Jack

Be a caregiver...it'll kill you!

Here's a career slogan for you, "Be a caregiver...it will kill you!" And the funny thing is, that's a GOOD thing!

Let me explain. When I signed up to marry my wonderful wife, I signed up for in sickness and in health. Easy words to pray. Now after two heinous pregnancies and a bout with cancer, I have found myself being a caregiver in ways I really never anticipated for long stretches at a time.

Debbie never thought of herself as needing care. She has always been strong, independent and healthy. I love her for these qualities. But then illness happens. And helplessness happens. And dependency happens.

And for the spouse? Your life goes on hold. So do your dreams and your plans for a day's tasks and the ability to get the same kind of care reciprocated back to you in any equitable quantity.

If you are a caregiver or a single parent or any form of person whom other people rely on during the day and night, you have my prayers. It's a hard job.

And if you do this in your own strength and your own love you will fail. Miserably. And your "caregivee" will know it.

The only way to be able to care for someone well is to die. You must die to yourself and be renewed again unto God. If not, you will never be able to give that one more back rub that's so desperately needed and deserved by your loved one. You won't be able to get back out of bed at 1 am to get the Tylenol. You won't be able to take care of the children one more time while your quiet prayer time is shattered by an early rising 8 year old.

Not that any of these things happen to me...or even to you. I'm just saying... :-)

So ask God for His heart and His plans for you today as a caregiver. Mat 6:33 NKJV - ...seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.

Trust God to remember that you have needs and plans as well. He may just say to you that your single job today is to love your spouse well while you pour into them. Jhn 15:13 NKJV - Greater love has no one than this, than to lay down one's life for his friends.

So how do I have the strength to one more time answer my beloved Debbie's call for assistance? By realizing that she IS my greatest blessing and that she deserves the very best of my love. And then I remember that she is fighting a greater fight than I could ever hope to understand right now. I can see her trials but I can't live them like she has to.

And suddenly the job becomes easy and a joy.

May God bless you with His plans becoming your plans today.

Jack

As sparks fly upward

Just when I have another person say, "Jack, your life is so difficult!", I find someone else who makes my troubles pale in comparison. Or at least I think they do.

Granted: 1) I am having difficulty keeping my house; 2) I have not worked but 8 months in 3 years; 3) Debbie had breast cancer and continues with nasty treatments which wreak havoc on her body and spirits; 4) I had 6 days of meningitis during the worst part of this trip; 5) government programs to help us have failed utterly; 6) etc., etc., etc.

My point is, who am I to complain?

Should I complain more than my brother-in-Christ who has lived in his auto for 4 years yet still praises God by saying he is simply living comfortably and within his means? Perhaps I should compare myself against the sister-in-Christ who gave birth to her boy but could not hold him because of clot-like issues (an AVM) suddenly developing in her brain and her losing sight in one eye (yet she still believes in the power of prayer)? Maybe I should compare myself to my good friend who has suffered pressing business difficulties and hospitalized family members and wakes up early in the morning to a flooded house (and yet he still finds the heart to help me and my family).

Job 5:7 NKJV - ...man is born to trouble, As the sparks fly upward.

God only gives us the burdens we can bear. He does not tempt us beyond what we are able to resist! Each of my friends described above has extremely difficult giants to face; yet each one is pressing on and doing what is right and expressing love in different ways.

I honestly don't think I could take the other's problems, just as they have expressed the same towards me. God is watching each of us in each of our circumstances. Sometimes He causes them and sometimes He simply allows them to happen. But at all times His question is, "Will my child turn to me for help?"

Please. Turn to God for help. [Psa 116:2 NKJV] - Because He has inclined His ear to me, Therefore I will call [upon Him] as long as I live.

He leans forward, bending His ear to hear the words, "I need you, God."

What's the Recipe?

My eldest daughter, Helena, has discovered baking. She loves it. And in fact she seems to be good at it. That warm blueberry muffin cake a few days ago was phenomenal. So she wants more recipes. "Daddy, what's the recipe for this?" Or, "What's the recipe for that?"

My wife and I want to know what the recipe for getting out of this mess is. Last night we talked about it at length.

Trying to be a good husband, I prayerfully considered my first response and timidly tossed out, "Do you have any unforgiveness? The Bible says that if we stand before God praying and realize we are not at right relationship with someone, Mat 5:24 NKJV - leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.

Fortunately she took the question well and we went through the list of friends and family members with whom we might be angry or disappointed.

Then Debbie suggested, "What else does God want from us? I think we're about as broken as can be!" She said this because God's pattern is that He wants us completely dependent on Him and not on ourselves or our possessions. So we we talked about being broken for awhile.

We talked about a number of good Biblical approaches to why God has not answered our prayers yet. And they were all backed by Scripture. But there was no one recipe for us to point to and say, "There now! Slide the turkies into the oven because we are done!"

And yet, I still have faith. But now I know whose faith that is. Fourteen days ago I was at the men's retreat on my knees sobbing before God during worship. And all of a sudden my tears were interspersed with laughter. I'm talking gut-wrenching tears and belly-joyful laughing all at the same time. It was the strangest experience.

It was because God gave me a verse in that moment: Hbr 12:2 NKJV - looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

For the first time ever I realized what it meant that Jesus is "the author and finisher of our faith."

That blew me away! God let me know unequivocably that He not only authored my faith and led me to Himself in 1984, but He is FINISHING my faith as well in these trials! There is no part of "Jacks Faith" in me that is worth a cent. It is Jesus' faith that is beginning to work itself to perfection in me. That's incredible news!

And what is the result of this? Phl 4:6 NKJV - Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

HIS faith produces HIS peace and I get to have it!

So what is the recipe for getting this delicious dish? Part of it seems to be to start with [Luk 10:27 NKJV] - "'...love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,' and 'your neighbor as yourself.' " Then add a pinch of humility because [Psa 147:6 NKJV] - The LORD lifts up the humble; He casts the wicked down to the ground? And don't forget adding the dash of repentence because [2Ch 7:14 NKJV] - if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land?

But those are only a few ingredients. The full recipe is found throughout the pages of the Bible and there are many, many ingredients more.

I don't know what the full recipe is for us and I certainly don't know what it is for you. All I know is that by some act of grace, God has seen fit to give me a taste of the final dish which is a measure of completion in Him.

I encourage all of you to seek God on your knees and in your hearts to ask for the same gift.

It is a dish that is savored beyond all others.

Chef Jack

Stick a needle in my eye!

There. I said it. Looking for work is like sticking a needle in my eye. I used to be able to look at a job description and say, "I could do that! I can change my resume and cover letter to match that job! I can do it!"

Now I read a job description and say, "They'll ding me for this point here...and they'll reject me for that one point there." I've gone from optimism to negativism. And I don't like the change.

Looking for work every day for 15 months now is a horrid task. I dread it. I fear sitting down at the computer. A guy can only take so much rejection from the world.

But it's at that point that I step back and realize that my identity is NOT what the world thinks of me. It is what Jesus thinks of me. He thinks that I am special and that I am trustworthy to take care of a beautiful wife and two wonderful children. He thinks I am capable of getting through these trials because He has promised never to let me be tempted beyond what I am able.

Wow. Those are pretty high expectations of my capabilities. "So then," I say to God. "Just where is my job, God? Where do you want me to look? How do you want me to change my point-of-view just enough so that I see the answer that has been there all along? Don't you want me to work?"

In response to that very urgent prayer this morning He had me flip open my Bible to a random page. And there I read from Ecclesiastes:

Ecc 7:9-10 NKJV - Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, For anger rests in the bosom of fools. Do not say, "Why were the former days better than these?" For you do not inquire wisely concerning this.

Point well taken, God. I will not be angry anymore. Thank you for reminding me.

And then I read...

Ecc 7:13 NKJV - Consider the work of God; For who can make straight what He has made crooked? In the day of prosperity be joyful, But in the day of adversity consider: Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other, So that man can find out nothing [that will come] after him.

Right again. You keep us guessing about the future because we can make no sense of the past. You want us to trust in you for your benign providence.

And in answer to whether or not He wants me to work...

Ecc 5:18-20 NKJV - Here is what I have seen: [It is] good and fitting [for one] to eat and drink, and to enjoy the good of all his labor in which he toils under the sun all the days of his life which God gives him; for it [is] his heritage. As for every man to whom God has given riches and wealth, and given him power to eat of it, to receive his heritage and rejoice in his labor--this [is] the gift of God. For he will not dwell unduly on the days of his life, because God keeps [him] busy with the joy of his heart.

Yes. He wants me to work. Not only that, but He wants me to enjoy the fruit of my work. And not only that, he wants me to be busy with the joy of my heart. Now that's a promise I can hold on to. He wants me to work doing the joy of my heart. That's not self-centered. It's not that I'm expecting to make money hanging out at the beach. It is exciting because my joy is to work for Him in anything that I do.

So I pray for my heart to align with God's heart and to find my vocation in His joy.

And thus I wait on Him another day.

Be encouraged.

Jack

There is pain and then there is PAIN

There is a list somewhere of the most painful experiences one can have in life. Among the top three are pregnancy and kidney stones.

Well, I've not experienced pregnancy, but I have had kidney stones. They hurt with a capital "H". I also know what six days of viral meningitis feels like and I've had that in the last 15 months. And I've seen the incredible pain that inflicted Debbie during her chemotherapy, radiation and surgeries.

OK. So I know physical pain. But there is another pain that is just as horrific. It's the pain of watching your house go further and further into debt. I've got that pain as well. And it is a real "gotcha on the ropes" kind of pain.

The problem with this pain is that it impacts everyone in the household: Mom, Dad and Children. I think even the cat knows there is trouble brewing.

It's the pain of deciding which of your childhood remnants you sell on the driveway to a stranger. It's the pain of knowing that your dream of watching your girls have their wedding receptions in your backyard when they grow up vanish. It's the pain of knowing your wife is torn up trying to keep the family nest in one piece but being powerless to do so.

I know God has a great plan for us. I also know that part of that plan is to turn our pain over to Him. But I'm here to say that this is a learning process that will take me a lifetime to accomplish well.

So I pray. And I read the Bible. And I ask for strength to get up one more day and walk through it.

And every single day God meets me. He meets me in the small flowers in our gardens that only He could create so beautifully. He meets me as I watch the birds gather their food without worry as a metaphor that I need to do the same. He meets me in the endless love of my children and my wife. He meets me in the quiet of prayer time. And He meets me in the kindness of friends.

So each day I am learning to turn the emotional pain over to Him. There is no other way to handle it. There is no other "god" who actually cares for me like the most sincere lover I can imagine.

That is why I have hope. Not that I first loved God, but that He first loved me. No other god acts with volitional love. And for that I am profoundly in awe.

So for today's pain...I tell you to go check in with my Maker. He'll set you straight and send you back from whence you came.

Jack

Like a Bad Movie

Debbie and I have often said that this roller coaster ride could not have been written even as a bad "B" movie in Hollywood. I can see the trailer now..."See the pain! Feel the pathos! Relive the hopelessness! Watch as one family loses their health and then their income! Visit the chemo bay where the mother spent hours every week ingesting poison into her body to combat cancer! See the hospital where the father recovered from meningitis! See the medical bills mount sky-high!"

And yet, there is another movie I've seen which I am reminded of: "It's a Wonderful Life" with Jimmy Stewart. In that movie, Jimmy Stewart's character has asked that his life be made null and void. God obliges and Jimmy begins to see all the people's lives he had touched. In the finale, despite huge financial scandal, all of the family's dozens of friends come forward to shower them with blessings.

It is the later movie that I reckon with. When I sent out an email indicating our dire straits, it was not to solicit help. It was only to draw a line in the sand to say that God has great things in store. Then one friend began a rally among many friends that has begun a shower of blessings to our family.

Debbie and I are stunned by the outpouring of love and support. From prayer to money to food cards to advice to encouragement to "nice-to-haves", each gift is an amazing gift.

Jesus promised that those who give to their friends in need will be blessed in this life and the next. You are all walking testimonies to love.

And we thank you.

Jack

And so it begins...

And so it begins...with a bang and not a whimper (pardons to T.S. Eliot).

This Blog has been in response to the encouragement of a number of people who wish to understand why I can say in the midst of our current great trials, "How great is our God!"

Let me first define God for you because so many people use "God" to describe many things. To many folks, "God" may mean the universal life force or the blind luck that people hope will turn their way. "God" may mean good intentions, good works or earned karma. "God" may even mean a universal consciousness or inner human nature that must only be uncovered for a man to reach peace and strength.

I am here to tell you that my God is more than these. I too believed in all those other gods at one point in my life. And yet I finally began to see that those other gods were incapable of instilling real hope. If I pray to those gods today, I have no reply and no reason to be hopeful that all the junk my family is going through right now has any more importance to it other than to make me stronger for the next barrage of trials until the day I die.

No. God knows my name, has counted every hair on my head and calls each star in the sky by name. His plans for me are for good and not for evil and His love has no end. His name is Jesus.

These intimacies with a concerned God are the reasons why I have hope. These are the reasons why I can stand firm and watch my house drift towards the auctioneer's block and not panic. These are the reasons why I can see the bills come in with no hope of being paid, and patiently wait until Provision is made.

As you come with me on this Blog journey through our current trials, you will see that I am not perfect nor is my strength my own. You will see that I have bouts of sadness and bouts of fear. And yet at the end of the day, when I'm done shaking my fist at God and wondering, "Where are you?", God is still God and I am still in His hands.

And that is why I have hope. I am no person's fool. I am simply loved by Him.

Thank you for sharing this journey with me,

Jack