There but for the Grace of God

Wednesday was the day our house was to go to auction. Debbie went just to make sure there were no mishaps of our home actually remaining on the list and selling.

It was surreal for her that she was even there. As she arrived she was still reflecting on the fact that God had stopped our house from going to auction. She looked around and tried to figure out where to stand and what to do. Then she noticed a nearby woman.

Instantly she recognized who and what she was. The lady's appearance, her wig and her quiet conversation said it all: she is a cancer survivor.

And there she was at the same auction as Debbie.

Debbie's eyes filled with tears as she overheard the stranger tell someone the same story as ours: joblessness, cancer, foreclosure. The only difference was that Debbie was there to watch God's miracle. This cancer sister was there to watch her house sell.

Debbie tried to go and console the woman but she simply couldn't. She was overwhelmed with the huge "close-call" of it all and the amazing blessing we received that this woman and her family did not.

Debbie called me and tearfully told me the story and ended it with, "There but for the grace of God go I." My heart simply broke.

We do not know God's providence for our lives, and we certainly cannot claim it was solely our righteousness or our prayers or the thousands of prayers that were uttered on our behalf. What we do know is that God changed history for us and that the body of Christ pulled together on our behalf and we have grown closer to Him who is light and love.

Somehow, someway, and for some reason God blessed His body today and we all (us and the hundreds who have prayed) have been blessed by our unfathomable and all loving Creator.

Thank you to Him and thank you to you.

Humbly,
Jack

Checking in with Work

It's time for my report on work.

Wow.

It's been a long time.

The job is excellent, the facilities pleasant and easy to get to and the people are great. I'm completely comfortable with the tasks required of me.

It's just a complete change of lifestyle! Being at home for so long over the last, actually 6 years, and then stepping back into the corporate lifestyle takes some getting used to.

I miss my Debbie, Helena and Morgan terribly. They're neat people to spend time with. And I miss seeing my house in the daylight. The gardens are beautiful and the light turns golden in the afternoons as it lights up the small hills and valleys like a painting.

It's good to be at work though. After Adam, we are meant to work hard and this is a good place to do it.

I pray for my family because this is the same big adjustment for them. Debbie does not have my help and the children do not have my guidance during the day. Debbie has been so wonderful to have their baths and homework done by the time I get home so I can spend the evening with them. It's been very special.

So my prayer is that I am a light at work, being the best God intends me to be. And I pray the same for Debbie and protection for Helena and Morgan.

Jack

Here we go!

After a day of unrest yesterday, I am prayed up and ready as ever to start my job today.

I will not be afraid.

Deu 31:6 NKJV - Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the LORD your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you."

Jack

The Day After

Here am I, counting my blessings: 1) I have stood faithful to God for 19 months; 2) I have received a good job; 3) My house is not going to auction next Wednesday (postponed by the bank for 30 days); 4)Debbie's cancer is gone (should be listed as #1); 5) The mood in my family has lifted. Nice list.

And I sit here depressed.

This afternoon I find myself angry, irritable at the slightest provocation, sad for the dumbest things and feeling empty. I do not have joy nor even much gratitude to God for His miraculous string of miracles. And to top it off, I feel fatter than a hippo in a Speedo (sorry for the image); every tug of my shirt makes me claustrophobic.

And I'm OK with all this.

I'm in good company with Godly men who have gotten depressed. One day the prophet Elijah faced 400 prophets of Baal. Elijah challenged them to make an altar and have Baal burn up the bull on the alter with fire. He teased them and cajoled them while they prayed for a full day until they bled. Of course, Baal never answered their prayer.

Then Elijah built an alter, put a bull on it and soaked the altar with water and built a watery moat around the offer. Upon his prayer, God sent down fire and consumed the offering. God won.

And Elijah won an incredible victory. The spiritual high he must have felt as God answered his prayer and brought fire down upon his soaked sacrifice must have made Elijah positively giddy.

But once the battle was over, Jezebel threatened to kill him within 24 hours. So Elijah fled into the wilderness in great fear. He sat down on a rock and cried out to God to take his life.

1Ki 19:4 KJV - But he himself went a day's journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a juniper tree: and he requested for himself that he might die; and said, It is enough; now, O LORD, take away my life; for I [am] not better than my fathers.

So much for the mighty prophet of God and so much for the mighty man of faith--Me. I'm depressed and feeling fat. I wonder if Elijah ate fist fulls of chocolate?

At any rate, God made a full range of emotions for us and He Himself felt joy, anger, laughter and despair. I believe what I'm feeling now is just that...only a feeling. I am feeling the loss of adrenaline from the fight that is temporarily over, the immediate battle which is won. I have received this crown for this race. Depression is not who I am and I won't let it be.

So today I eat fistfuls of chocolate. Not exactly a godly response, but at least it's tasty. After Elijah's battle with depression, God immediately used him to anoint both the next king his protege and successor, Elisha.

Tomorrow is a bright new day. In fact, Psa 118:24 NKJV - This [is] the day the LORD has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.

So I choose to rejoice, despite what I feel. That's not hollow and hypocritical. It acknowledges my humanness and God's holiness. Tomorrow I know I will feel better because my heart goes where my thoughts go and I turn my thoughts to God.

In the meantime for today, the chocolate still looks pretty good.

:-)

The End Intended

I've often thought of what God intended to do in my life during these trials over the last 19 months. In fact, I've pleaded, cried, rebelled and been depressed while asking Him to reveal those intentions in my life over this long, long, way too long period of time.

And then I found James' encouragement:

Jam 5:10 NKJV - My brethren, take the prophets, who spoke in the name of the Lord, as an example of suffering and patience. Indeed we count them blessed who endure. You have heard of the perseverance of Job and seen the end [intended by] the Lord--that the Lord is very compassionate and merciful.

People have called me a modern day Job. But with so many people in similar circumstances, "Job-itis" seems to be a common disease! So I looked at the end intended for Job and it blew me away.

If you don't know the story of Job, it goes a little like this: Job was the richest man alive with family, friends, health and wealth; and he loved God. So Satan asked God to let Him destroy Job so Satan could prove Job's love for God was only skin deep. God then let Satan touch Job within limits.

Satan destroyed Job's wealth and then his family and then his health. Finally, Satan burdened Job with a few horrible compadres who gave rotten, accusing, condemning counsel. In the end, God finally appears to Job and His friends and reads them the riot act in a loving/holy/terrifyingly humbling encounter. Through all this Job did not sin against God with his lips. This does not mean to say that Job did not question God nor wail in his pain, but he trusted Him.

What was the end result intended by God? There are two things that happened. The second is less important than the first: God multiplied Job's possessions and family exactly twice as much as before. That is of course always a pleasant thing to happen to one, I suppose. May it happen to me! May it happen to all of us!

The most important thing that happened is reflected in this confession from Job:


42:5 NKJV - "I have heard of You by the hearing of the ear, But now my eye sees You."

Job knew and feared God before, but now after the trials, Job met God face-to-face. Job became intimate with God.

So I look back on these 19 months and see if that has happened:

• My "Starry Host" presentations have taken on a deep-felt passion and legitimacy
• Debbie and I prayed on our faces...together
• Our family has committed more resources for God because we know who our rescuer is...
• We are praying about opening our home to a Bible study because it is our reasonable service to Him who delivers
• Debbie and I are seeing more of God in each other
• We are finally understanding how God moves on people's hearts in compassion so they pray unceasingly, give unselfishly and encourage endlessly
• Our hearts are changing so that we can do the same for others

So has the end intended by God been brought about? As with all things of God, it is a work in progress. But I wouldn't miss the ride for the world!

May God's intended end for you be as fruitful.

~Jack

Taste and See

I have seen the Lord, and the Lord is good.

You may have heard the news from us already, but...I am now EMPLOYED!

In a miraculous way, the company that I had not sought out but rather God brought to me has made me an offer I can't refuse. I start on Monday, October 26th. The company is relatively close by (30-45 minute commute) and I have performed the job before so I am relatively comfortable in the duties.

The end of our struggles is not over. We still need to save our house from auction in 9 days; we still need to overcome the huge debt incurred (it will be paycheck to paycheck for a very long time); we still have to get through medical issues resulting from the cancer.

But when all is said, I have tasted of the Lord and seen His work; and He is good.

[Psa 34:8 NKJV] - Oh, taste and see that the LORD [is] good; Blessed [is] the man [who] trusts in Him!

~Jack

The Widow's Tithe

My friends, I am taking a moment to give my absolute thanks to you wonderful folks who have, and are, supporting this family.

Every day (or two or three or four) a check comes in, or a gift card, a set of movie tickets, a day's work or a word of encouragement. I can't even decide which is the most valuable except that God has moved on your hearts and you have responded, which makes every gift as valuable as the next.

I know times are so difficult for many of us. And even though some of us are doing better than others, our budgets have never been tighter for all of us.

And yet...you give.

Some of you I know and some of you are complete strangers to me.

And yet...you give.

Some of you have enough to eat and some of you do not; some have jobs and some are jobless; some are healthy and others suffer.

And yet...you give.

Some have no time to spend reading these blogs and responding with encouragement and advice.

And yet...you give.

Jesus was watching in the Temple as all the people put their tithes and offerings into the box. Up came a widow who put in out of her poverty. She came away the richest of them all with a blessing from the Lord.

I tell you, my family has been that offering box and ALL OF YOU have put in your offerings. I could never have asked for more love than what each of you has shown us.

Luk 21:1 NKJV - And He looked up and saw the rich putting their gifts into the treasury, and He saw also a certain poor widow putting in two mites. So He said, "Truly I say to you that this poor widow has put in more than all; all these out of their abundance have put in offerings for God, but she out of her poverty put in all the livelihood that she had."

I ask our holy God to return to your heads 100 times what you have given us.

And He is the God to do it.

~Jack

Whose Child Am I

I am waiting to hear from the job interview process day by day. The HR Director said she'll try and call me before she boards the plane home from Chicago. That was last Friday. No call.

I'll try and not be anxious.

I have gone over the interview in my head a dozen times. I met with the HR director first. It was a good and pleasant conversation. Then she called in my direct boss (if hired) and we had another very interesting conversation. And then I met with two potential peers. Again, a great talk with lots of good questions.

Yet I keep going back to the session with my peers and my boss. My peers had read too much into me and my boss had asked a tough question which led to a tough answer.

My peers queried me on this and that and I answered honestly. But at one point they said how excited they were that I was so knowledgeable on healthcare data, calling me passionate about it. "Whoa!" I said. "I do understand some things about the data, but please don't get the idea that I am a data junkie. There are dedicated professionals who do that and I am not one of them. But I am happy to share what I do know."

I was taking a risk by being honest. The point is that in the world's eyes, I had them hook, line and sinker and I could have reeled them in on an issue that was obviously important to them. But setting up an expectation like that is basically a lie. And it would only be a matter of time before it hurt me. Besides, I'm not to lie...ever.

Then my boss asked in her session with me, "What motivates you?"

My first answer was entirely "business" appropriate and something like, "...building relationships and working on business process improvement." This job requires a lot of both of those so the answer stuck and she made a note.

Then she repeated the question, "What else motivates you?" Hmm...what is she looking for? "Mentoring people so that those around me want to come into work the next day. I value enabling people to do their jobs better." Again, a nod and a note.

Then she repeated the question, "Tell me what really motivates you?" By now I'm stuck. What else is she looking for? What is relevant in all the things I've heard from her thus far in the interview that I can bring to bear? What?

Then I heard a still, small voice: "I do."

That was God's voice. I recognized it clearly and knew what to say. "My only other answer is Biblical."

"How so?" she asked.

"Do all things as unto the Lord."

Finally, she smiled. This was the moment: would I sell out with a canned interview answer or would I stand up for an honest answer, spoken respectfully and quietly in the face of someone who has the power to hire me or not when I desperately need a job.

Taking the clue from her smile, I continued, "If you hire me, I'm not only working for you, but I'm working for God." And I looked her straight in the eye.

Then she smiled broadly and said, "That's a good answer. That shows character and integrity. I like that. That's good."

I need this job terrifically. But I need my Lord more. I was respectful and I was thoughtful and I was instant in prayer, but I was truthful.

In the end of all things, I will have to remember whose child I am. I my Father's child. He watches over me and will never leave me. He loves me and like any child of ours, He longs for us to be proud of Him.

So Daddy, into your hands I commit this interview. I pray you always give me the strength to say, "I am proud of you!" in the eyes of the world.

[Mat 10:32 NKJV] - "Therefore whoever confesses Me before men, him I will also confess before My Father who is in heaven.


Your Adopted and Loving Son,
Jack

Coffee and a Muffin

Today started out with the most wonderful surprise. Debbie showed up at my client's site and brought me a coffee and a muffin. And then she said, "I am proud of you."

That one phrase and that one act was one of the best gifts I have received in a very, very long time. I have told three men about it several times today, almost bragging.

My wife is proud of me.

Pro 18:22 NKJV - [He who] finds a wife finds a good [thing], And obtains favor from the LORD.

Thank you, Debbie! I love you.

Jack

The Interview

The interview I had on Monday went well. Well, actually all three interviews I've had with the company went well.

So what does that mean? Absolutely nothing!

It only means that I did my best and God will now either open this door or close this door. I can do no more and no less.

Whew! That was easy. I only had to endure 3 hours of grilling and many hours of preparation. Now the hard part is God's. He's got to get busy shaping plans, molding hearts, guiding thoughts and organizing human chess pieces.

I got the easy part.

[Pro 16:9 NKJV] - A man's heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.

Jack

This and a Buck-fifty...

I am pleased to report that tomorrow, Monday, October 5th, I have an interview. An actual face-to-face with real people who are not looking to make me an insurance agent or sell multi-level marketing plans.

It's a good job and one I'm very qualified for. And interestingly enough, I did not find them, but they found me through their system of recruiters.

Very good. I'll do my level best and be as positive as possible because I am excited. And I promise not to get those, "This and a buck-fifty will get me a cup of coffee blues" because I've been down this path so many times where the job is perfect for my experience but I still remain the bridesmaid at the end.

I ask for your prayers for good preparation, wisdom, humility, open ears of the interview team and faithful understanding.

Jam 4:13 NKJV - Come now, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, spend a year there, buy and sell, and make a profit"; whereas you do not know what [will happen] tomorrow. For what [is] your life? It is even a vapor that appears for a little time and then vanishes away. Instead you [ought] to say, "If the Lord wills, we shall live and do this or that."

So Lord, if You will, I will.

Jack

MRI Results -- Pleasant Words

Many of you have heard the news, but I want to make sure it is officially posted about Debbie's MRI two weeks ago. It came back negative!

This is great on two levels. The first is that she is able to detect small changes herself and that's important. The second level is that what she detected was a shrinking of some damage caused by the surgery and radiation. So in effect, her body is reabsorbing some of that damage which is simply a good thing for a body to do.

We are ecstatic about this. And it's nice to be able to report some pleasant words.

[Pro 16:24 NKJV] - Pleasant words [are like] a honeycomb, Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones.